Okay so I came home for the weekend and it was pretty intense.
Mostly I just really wanted to see everyone again. And so we had a party.
It was fun but everything felt sort of weird. Very different.
We're the same and yet we're not.
But then I think about "Sleepless in Seattle" and how Tom Hanks says, "I'm gonna get out of bed every morning... breath in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breath in and out... and, then after a while, I won't have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while."
That's how I feel right now about my life. And sometimes it's really hard to breathe. That's why I run.
I'm kinda homesick for college now. Which is weird because I don't like it all that much right now. But I do miss it.
I went running today and wished I was still on track and that I had someone to run with which made me wish I had my ipod to distract me, which made me wish that I had some songs I could actually listening to without getting all emotional which made me think of the one time in Kaelin's class we listened to Dean Kaelin's cd which reminded me of the lyrics to one of his songs about 1993. Which made me run harder to forget to remember those things because high school is over.
And now I'm practically grown up.
And I don't know what I'm going to do for the next few years except school.
I'm not even sure what I'm going to do in school. Lately I've been considering double majoring. Or switching my major. It's a ton of work... I think I really love art and USU has a great program for it. Art gives me some good career choices that I could get into and be content ... but I also have this passion for music, except theres not much I could do with that for the rest of my life. Unless I became a voice teacher or something. But then I figure other schools have good music programs, so would I stay at USU? Probably not. So which one should I bust my back for? I just don't know.
You boys are lucky. Sure missions are scary, but at least you know what you're going to be doing.
I don't have a clue. I
I mean, I guess I could get married...but thats a bit extreme. (and gross) And NOT an option because I'm not interested in any boys. At all. Except for one.
Ahem. I digress.
Where was I? Oh yeah...
Help?
2 comments:
I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time getting over me Molly. I mean, I know I'm pretty cool and all that- not to mention devilishly handsome- but there's just got to be a point when you say to yourself, "Self, there are better guys than Thatcher out there."
I know it's hard to get over me. But it's just the way things have to be. I'm sorry to break your heart Molly.
It'll never be the same without you eating the brownies that I made for Katie.
I'm just not sure if I can make it without your ultimate skills...or your cable tv.
;)
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